We've cruised many times but never on Princess. We arrived at 11:30am, an hour after they opened for embarkation. The line was already wrapped around the lawn area, and then more lines once you got inside. It was cold and raining and we didn’t get on the ship until 1pm, an hour and a half after we arrived. So different from Royal where we were dropped off at the front, greeted by porters who whisked away our bags, and walked onto the ship 15 mins later. The good thing about having to wait so long was that our rooms were ready by the time we got there, so we went straight there to drop off our bags.
Food: Buffets usually get a bad rap but we usually find something we enjoy at each one. Not on the Crown. Even the salad was bad. They need to invest in some salad spinners because their salads were dripping with water, the dressings had no flavor, the ingredients (like the chicken, tomatoes, and hard boiled eggs) were shredded/chopped to where they were unrecognizable. Maybe this appeals to the older crowd who need their food chewed for them, but I prefer my salads to have some bite.
Dinner was not any better. You fill out a dining preference sheet ahead of time where they ask if you prefer a table by the window, and if you prefer a fast, medium or slow speed of dining. I don’t know why they ask because it was never accommodated. The servers were great but the only dining room that seemed to have assistants was Michalangelo. As a result, everything took a really long time, which would be fine if the food was worth waiting for, but it wasn’t. I really think most of the dining room food is from the same batch as the buffet. I waited an hour for chicken and waffles which tasted like the buffet waffles with chicken tenders on top. And it wasn’t even hot or fresh. One night I got fajitas which looked like someone scooped it from the buffet and put two pieces of stale tortillas on it, with the same guacamole and tomato mush that they serve in the buffet line. I would think at least in the dining room that they would use real avocados to make their guacamole, but it was the same stuff that looked like it was squeezed out of a tube.
We were really excited to see the Salty Dog Grill. How can you go wrong with hot dogs, burgers and chili cheese fries made to order? Well apparently you can overcook all the burgers, serve the hot dogs on stale dry buns, and put one squirt of processed cheese and one teaspoon of chili on a basket of fries. The pizza from Slice was pretty good though, and the ice cream sundaes looked good as well.
High Tea sounded like a great idea. But the reality was a really long line of people, being told you have to be seated with strangers unless you wanted to wait even longer, and then being served lukewarm tea. Servers walked around with trays of food, which disappeared before they could get to your table. One tray was the sandwiches, which was just tuna or egg salad served on some hard round rolls. It would have been simple enough to make them with sliced bread or have some cucumber cream cheese in them,...they have all the ingredients. But it seems that Princess is all about streamlining rather than quality. We saw another tray with desserts and cookies which looked unappetizing, like someone pulled them from the buffet line. Then as our table mates got tired of waiting for more of the same, they finally came out with a tray of dry scones. This entire time our tea was not refilled. It was very disappointing. I wish they would just not do it at all if they can’t attempt to do it correctly.
Thermal spa: Since there wasn’t much to do on the ship, I thought I’d get the Thermal Spa package which was $150 for 5 nights. It was supposed to include access to their steam room, sauna, waterfall fog showers, and ceramic heated chairs, as well as an exclusive pool and hot tub area. This was the biggest rip off. There was no hot water in the showers the entire time I was there. The sauna was barely hot and they finally shut it down on the last day to fix it. Of course that would also be the same day that the ceramic chairs weren’t working, and the steam room was dangerously over heated,...I couldn’t stay in there longer than 3 minutes, it was that hot. The “private” pool was also never filled our entire trip. Halfway through I asked to speak to the spa manager. The lady took my room number but he never got in touch with me. On the last day I again asked to speak to him and the lady at the desk was very defensive, telling me that the showers are supposed to be cold (how do you get a fog shower without heat, and if they’re supposed to be cold, why didn’t any of their staff say so when other passengers reported it? There was even a maintenance guy there fixing the lights and he said he would look into it) The most the lady would do was to refund me a day, which I had no choice but to take. She was not very nice about it and told me she would call me in 20 minutes. Again I didn’t get a call all day and had to go back to see if it was refunded to me. By the way, I ended up using the free sauna in the changing area on the last day, which was so much better than the Thermal Suite one. I had to take my necklace off for the first time because it was burning from the heat,...it hadn’t done that at all previously because it wasn’t working all trip. And there’s a free steam room and showers (with hot water!) in the changing room too. So really the only thing you’re paying for are the ceramic beds in the Thermal Suite.
Entertainment: Everything was just meh. The production show was uninspired. It looked very rehearsed and routine with no energy and no heart. I overheard another passenger say that having white people trying to sing soul music didn’t work. Possible, but I just don’t think any of the singers were amazing. Again, as was the theme for the cruise, they were just average. There were two comedians. The first one, Scott Belford, was so bad that it was painful to watch. I don’t know how Princess could hire him as an entertainer. Do they watch his shows?? It was like amateur night, with jokes like “I love it when my wife walks right by the coat closet,...only to put her jacket on the back of a chair 20 feet away.” cue laughter from comedian and no one else “At least she doesn’t do it 24/7 like I do. She has me beat there” cue uncomfortable laughter from one person in the audience. We had to walk out, it was so incredibly cringey. The second guy was an impressionist and he was really funny. Or maybe he just looked like a rockstar next to the first guy. We saw two of his shows and he was the highlight of the entire entertainment schedule.
Our room was on the Piazza level mid ship, which was super convenient for access to dinner, gangway, shops, bar, etc. The main area of the ship is there as well, in front of the elevators. This is where they do the games, live music, and the welcome/farewell ceremonies. Makes it really difficult to talk to customer service though, as their counter is one floor above the open atrium where everything is happening. The merchandise sales were crazy. They had three four-foot tables that they put along the railing. People were pushing and shoving trying to get to the cheap $10 items that they were selling. You won’t be able to get to the front unless you have ninja powers, so I would suggest going near the end. Don’t worry, the cheap tacky watches and shawls and hats will still be there.
Other things to know: Soda package comes with mocktails, but not bottled water for some reason. You also can’t chat with your shipmates unless you have the old version of the app, which is so incredibly dumb. Why would you release a version of the app with less functionality?
The ship itself offers very little to do. Most advertised activities are just sales pitches. The free mini facial session consists of sitting on hard chairs in a meeting room with someone giving you a bit of cleanser/toner/ etc to rub on, then a cold wipe to clean it off, and then moisturizer. Meanwhile they’re trying to “educate” you on why their products are superior. It’s really not a facial at all. Neither are the free “massage samplers”.
We went to the art auction (we were that bored) and the lady hosting it was telling the audience how lucky we were that we weren’t going on the Hawaii trip right after our sailing. She was dreading the upcoming 8 sea days. After going on the Crown with 2 sea days, I can understand her dread. Normally I’m a bit envious of the cruisers getting on while we are getting off, but this time I was glad to be home. I think it’s safe to say that this will be our last trip on Princess.
