Noordam = No Damn Way

Noordam Cruise Review

Cruises: 1 cruise (first)
Review: 1
Helpful Votes: 3

Overall rating:

2.5 out of 5

14 Night Pacific Treasures (Sydney Roundtrip)

Sail date: January 14, 2019

Ship: Noordam

Traveled as: Couple

Reviewed: 2 years ago

Review summary

Won't go on Noordam again. We all wanted to mutiny!! Heading back to islands on Solstice as they are lovely.


3 out of 5

Ship experiences

Food and Dining

1 out of 5
Big black weavil type bug in cocktail. Sticker inside burger. Lamb chops (well not lamb but mutton but...) so tough you couldn't eat. Taco bar serving cold meat - sorry but taco meat needs to be hot.

Onboard Activities

2 out of 5
Poolside trivia sad. Crows nest trivia GREAT.


3 out of 5

Service and Staff

2 out of 5
Staff did their best considering what they had to work with.

Ship Quality

1 out of 5

Cabin / Stateroom

2 out of 5
Mattress blown out from overuse & springs pushing into back. Slept 3 nights on the floor before crew replaced it. Tv didn't work & took 3+ calls to get it fixed. Eventually they agreed it was "crap" & replaced it. Aircon dripped onto bed.

Ship tip


Ports of call

Lifou Isle, New Caledonia

5 out of 5
Love this place & the people. Make the effort to go for a walk over the hill.

Noumea, New Caledonia

3 out of 5
Best baguettes outside France. Take a couple of butter portions with you as Noumea doesn't do good dairy. All cream in pastries is "mock cream". Good wifi at maccas but food not what we get. Take some local currency for museum - don't accept card or other. Markets great.

Champagne Bay, Espiritu Santo, Vanuatu

3 out of 5
Lovely bay but next time we'll go for a wander inland to the proper village. Take insect repellant as sand flies are voracious!

Mare Isle, Loyalty Islands, New Caledonia

2 out of 5
Not much here. Beach access tricky if not going on tour. Those that did came back with terrible blue bottle stings. Nice ship day as it wasn't crowded.

Mystery Island, Vanuatu

4 out of 5
Best snorkeling of trip. Go to end of airstrip & float with the current. Take a sarong to hang in the bushes for shade & your own snorkeling gear if on a budget.

Port Vila, Efate, Vanuatu

2 out of 5
Great duty free but very intimidating locals. Didn't feel safe so did our shopping & back to ship ASAP.

Luganville, Vanuatu

5 out of 5
Get a local taxi driver to take you for a tour. AUD$30 got us a great half day incl blue holes experience. Language was fun..we asked to see the sights & driver thought we wanted to see the "signs". He pointed out the sign for the soccer oval, bridge signs, resort signs etc 😂 Eventually we all had a good laugh about the misunderstanding & were taken to his village for a game of pool & kava.

Isle Of Pines (Ile Des Pins), New Caledonia

3 out of 5
Ok but expensive. Take lots of $5 notes. Don't pay with $1 & $2 coins as the locals can't convert coinage.

Sydney, Australia

5 out of 5
Home port so going to be biased.


5 out of 5
Best part about it was getting off.
Was this review helpful? 3


Leave a comment

Remember: Be polite and respectful. Our diverse community is home to members with different opinions and a broad range of cruise experiences.

Other reviews of this sailing