Epic Waste of a Week

Norwegian Epic Cruise Review to Caribbean - Western

jeffreydjeter

Contributor Level: Deck Hand

Cruises: 4-6 cruises

Review: 1

Helpful Votes: 6

Overall rating:

1.1 out of 5

Verified Review

7 Night Caribbean: Great Stirrup Cay & San Juan (Port Canaveral Roundtrip)

Sail date: March 17, 2024

Ship: Norwegian Epic

Cabin type: Suite

Cabin number: 14110

Traveled as: Couple

Reviewed: 1 month ago

Review summary

A few things nobody will tell you about this cruise: 1. They don’t really go to the Bahamas - just a glorified sand bar a few miles off into the water. 2. Multiple days, the ship leaves the port EARLY EARLY EARLY in the afternoon. 3. Only a few hours in St. Thomas, the orettiest island in the whole Cartibean, but then a long, full day in the brackish muddy waters of the Dominican Republic where you can choose between which of 6 identical jungle tours you want to purchase or take your life into your hands by venturing out on your own. Instead, do what the vast majority of passengers on our cruise did—just stay on the ship. 4. Perhaps we went the week of an AARP discount, but the average age of the passengers had to be 80. Not a problem unless you are not facile at laying Frogger as you duck and dodge around the horde of electric scooters that clog up every single passageway and corridor. Not my first cruise. Not my first NCL cruise. Definitely my last NCL cruise and likely my last overall cruise. What a waste of money and worse yet, a waste of a week of my life.

Embarkation

1 out of 5

Would give zero stars if I had the option

Ship experiences

Food and Dining

1 out of 5

I would give it a zero if I had the option. The specialty restaurants (esp Cagney) was worse than the buffet. And canned mudslides? C’mon NCL, at least give the illusion of giving a damn.

Onboard Activities

1 out of 5

Would give a zero if I had the option. Too many passengers and too few options so you had to line up 1.5-2 hours before an event just to get a seat. In fact, the most exciting activity onboard was the constant hunt to find a seat .. any seat—at a bar, at a show, at the buffet.

Entertainment

1 out of 5

Would give a zero if I had the option. Long lines and being turned away because every seat was already filled.

Service and Staff

1 out of 5

Nobody would ever help or give you a straight answer about anything.

Ship Quality

1 out of 5

Would give a zero if I had the option. Ended up with chemical burns from way too much chlorine in the hot tub in thenrhetmal spa. The reason they had too much chlorine is that there was black gunk around some of the water spouts which was likely a result of NCL not cleaning the pool and hot tub.

Cabin / Stateroom

2 out of 5

Meh. Odd configuration but if you have read this far, you already know that.

Ship tip

Give your money to charity instead of NCL. You will still have less money I. Your bank account but you will instead have a warm fuzzy feeling about doing good as an opposed to being angry, frustrated, and feeling ripped off by NCL.

Thumbs up

Ports of call

San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 out of 5

Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas

1 out of 5

Amber Cove (Puerto Plata), Dominican Republic

1 out of 5

Disembarkation

1 out of 5

They cattle prod you just to wait unnecessarily.

6 Comments

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