Weird Cruise Reviews from 2018

He liked his answer better. He's probably in Congress... I guess you couldn't help yourself...….

One time, while waiting in line at a European tender port, I overheard the guy behind me telling a lady how he was going to write about the cruise line and this port. The reason this port required tenders was due to the shallow entrance to the harbor. Indeed, at even high water a draft of 20 feet wouldn't make it. The fellow maintained that the cruise line was too stingy to pay docking fees and elected to tender instead. If he had bothered to look, on the ship they had even posted a nautical chart showing details of the port and water depths. The port received freight container traffic but only on smaller flat bottom barges. It had cranes which were used to unload the barges. The guy could see the cranes and assumed they were for large vessels like container ships. I mentioned to the guy if they tried to take our ship across the shoal, it might be there forever. He wasn't impressed.

By the time I was 20 I was well into my second tour in injun country, with a bad MOS...and it was all my fault, naturally... what d'you expect from an 18 year old..great decision making? hehehe....what d'you mean in a decade or two? look around......Thanks again Simon, but some of em were funny and sad at the same time..obviously most folks in here know "how" to cruise, no matter what their preferences, but the types that wrote those reviews are the ones to be avoided or ignored IMHO..

Back in the Dark ages when I was in college I worked as a manager of a drug store in Toluca Lake. Being in Toluca Lake we had a lot of the TV and movie industry as clients. One night Herve got very upset with me when I had to call his credit card in for approval (the days before computers) I got the "Don't you know who I am?" line from him. I had to answer "yes I do, but a call in limit is a call in limit no matter who you are"

So I like the Fantasy Island one....... The house from the show is at the L.A. Arboretum

The one with the 20 year old treated like a boy seems to be a trend these days. By the time I was 20 I was already two years in the Navy working on airplanes. We’re going to have a nation full of wimps in a decade or two.

The ones with the puns was funny. Good job!

Thee plane! Thee plane!!

Like it!

I want to thank you for scrounging these up. Unfortunately, these represent a lot of the "talent" doing reviews...not just here, but virtually anyplace that invites reviews of, well, almost anything. Which is why I learned a long time ago to take them with a grain of salt. Especially the hyper critical ones..Good for laffs….

The cheese puns were all Simon! :)

LOL Thanks for sharing Simon ... maybe the reviewer of Fantasy Island was being quite serious in referring to Mr. Roarke and Tattoo as the monkeys ... obviously he was not a fan of the show ....

My favourite was the Alaskan cruise, “This is not a sun-lovers cruise. Temperatures in summer are very cool in this climate.” One has to wonder just where this person is from and what schooling they got ...

Cheers,