Mostly impressive but needs a little work
MSC Virtuosa Cruise Review to Europe - Northern Europe
Contributor Level:
Purser
Cruises: 1 cruise (first)
Review: 1
Helpful Votes: 23
7 Night Norway (Southampton Roundtrip)
Sail date: August 27, 2022
Ship: MSC Virtuosa
Traveled as: Family (older children)
Reviewed: 2 years ago
Review summary
This was our first cruise so I can't compare it with anything else. There's no doubt that the MSC Virtuosa is a stunning and impressive ship which has had a lot of time and money spent on her. Everything worked for the most part but some parts did not but these should be relatively easy to fix. If you want something quiet and to expand your mind then this ship is not for you, neither does it have much to offer for older children especially only ones. It gets really busy which can be a chore and there's a limit to the entertainment, but if you just want to sip cocktails in sumptuous surroundings or dance a lot then you'll love it. If I had one wish it would be to reduce the passenger count by 1000 which would make it a lot nicer (if not as profitable).Embarkation
Too easy. Parked 30 seconds walk from the terminal building, dump cases in a "hole in the wall" and onto to the next bit. This being the UK, queuing facilities were provided but we went from car park to poolside alcohol ingestion in about 30 minutes.
Ship experiences
Food and Dining
The main buffet area is huge, taking up at least half of deck 15. This boat is big so deck 15 is big. As Yoda might have said, big ships lots of passengers have. Crash into each other they will, mmmnnn. Find a seat they may not, nooo. Anyway, enough of the Yoda stuff. The actual food is fairly decent and plentiful with a slant towards Mediterranean cuisine. Lovers of the full English breakfast, for we are many, are naturally catered for too. The big issue is with the size and scale of this place, anyone with mobility or visual / cognitive issues would have an awful time of it. I could swear there was an old guy from a previous cruise still trying to find his way out. The complimentary restaurant, Minuetto in our case, was a lot more civilised with your own allocated table and waiter to serve your stuff. If you get Budhi he's really good as was the food for the most part.
Onboard Activities
The top deck pool was good but once again, very busy. Sunloungers were generally available however even though the fantastic weather (laid on for free by MSC so I was told) brought out all the sun worshippers. We didn't use the fitness centre although it looked excellent since the people in there all appeared to be very fit.
There's a lot of shopping and a lot of bars too so you can shop and drink.
Entertainment
Lots of singing and dancing. The quality was decent with the Italian show being particularly good. The four tenors were outstanding including the one guest singer who sounded like he was a professional opera singer or a very good impersonator of one.
I need to call out the Arkymea show performed by - I believe - a troupe of hideously talented artistes from the famous Cirque du Soleil. This show, performed in the rear Carousel lounge, is truly at the cutting edge of live entertainment. To paraphrase the legendary Nigel Tufnell, Arkymea is a stage show turned up to 11 and was no doubt influenced by Spinal Tap's legendary 1984 "Stonehenge" set, although the choreography and costumes have improved greatly since then. For a pre-cruise price of £9 ($10) each including a free cocktail it's a steal. Seriously, why are you still reading this, go book it!
All rooms were provided with an unusual post-modernist sculpture which took the form of a wall mounted Samsung television set. I think the artist was attempting to portray the ultimate futility of technological escapism from the self-imposed dichotomy of the steel bounded cruise ship paradigm vis. the tactile familiarity of the post modern heteronormative nuclear family. The artist did this by skillfully switching off the TV after watching any channel for more than about 30 seconds. Even the safety briefing. It's a provocative piece which really makes you think. My main thought was "what are we supposed to do if the ship hits something?" Marvellous stuff.
Children's Programs
My 14 year old son was bored stupid although in fairness he usually is. The only thing really setup for people of his age was some kind of "teen club" which appeared to be a small brightly coloured room with some screens in it, which I imagine is a childless mid 20's cruise planner's idea of what the youth of today like. They've got some arcades and things but these needed a £75 ($87) "fun pass" to access which would give you a couple of hours fun passing at most. Those older kids either without siblings or who hate the ones they do have are going to have a rotten time on this boat because there's very little for them and they can't even hit the booze to drown it out.
If you're planning on taking your hormonal teenager on here then make you can still beat them in a fight otherwise they might try and kill you. MSC needs to SERIOUSLY up its game in this respect.
Service and Staff
I suspect MSC have some kind of secret facility for producing these guys. The really good ones with top marks in their class are sent to work as cleaners and waiters. They are very small, nimble and able to carry multiples of their own body weight in crockery or towels. They are immune to pain and kept very busy. The poorer ones who failed the exams and aptitude tests are generally put to work as ship IT workers and disembarkation planners. The very poorest with no cognitive or empathetic abilities go to work in the medical centre. I visited on behalf of my wife who started coughing and had a temperature. Now I'm no expert on public health but "respiratory symptoms" and "massive confined space with 1000s of people in close proximity" are not words I like to hear in the same sentence. They told me I could pay £100 for a full medical exam or she could wear a mask or buy some Italian paracetamol. Gee thanks, Dr House. You can see where I'm going with this. As it later transpired all of us HAD actually contracted covid which we're now recovering from. Why didn't you want to test for it, MSC? Make your own mind up, readers.
Ship Quality
The high class cleaning staff do a good job. They sure need them because the lounge areas are genuinely stunning. The central atrium has oodles of expensive glass and chrome and the steps sparkle with the shimmer of thousands of tiny Swarovski crystals. I feel confident that Elton John would have it for a bathroom in a heartbeat if he could get away with it, it's that good. Its one of the best places on the ship for a photo-op and for locating the long winding queue to the MSC Customer Services desk. No other cruise line offers such a high quality queuing experience.
Cabin / Stateroom
Our cabin was small but bearable. Cleaners on the ball as ever and the shower and aircon worked properly.
Ship tip
Nothing I could say that a seasoned cruise passenger wouldn't already know.
Thumbs up
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Ports of call
The town itself is small but quite nice. There's a shopping centre for all kinds of cool Norwegian stuff and the Sagastad viking centre was good but utterly jammed up with fellow cruisers. If you want to visit then book your tickets online with the centre beforehand or, if you want to pay 3 times the price, book them with MSC.
Disembarkation and embarkation were absolutely shambolic on this one. Ship staff were clueless and the port authorities not much better. Took hours to get off even when we jumped the queue (I'm not proud of this but I had my reasons, man) and the same thing getting back on although no jumping that way. Note to MSC - trying to get 5000 passengers on and off a 19 deck ship through one small doorway is not one of your better ideas.
No problems leaving the ship this time. There's not much at Hellesynt given that only about 200 people live there but it does provide the departure point for the ferry to Geiranger which takes you down the famous Geirangerfjord which is truly magnificent. Once again book the trip directly with the ferry company and not MSC. It's not cheap but well worth it. Geiranger itself is a pretty cool little place which most of your fellow cruisers won't ever see. Actually if the mountain side collapses as the Norwegians are expecting it to at some point* then nobody will be able to see it so get booking ASAP.
* Fans of Norwegian disaster films (they really are a 'thing' you know) will recognise this as the premise of the 2015 film "The Wave" where Geiranger is unceremoniously wiped out by a flood of biblical proportions.
Didn't see much of the town but we did go on the MSC expedition to the Bud / Ergan fortress which dates from WW2. This was expensive but I love stuff like that so I couldn't help myself. The coach trip takes you through some interesting places and the tour guide gives you a good introduction to Norway and why it is the great place it is. I like Norwegians.
Lovely little town, some nice shops and just a great way to spend a few hours onshore. I bought a coat which made me happy. I am easily pleased.
Disembarkation
Fairly painless and efficient, no major queues or anything like that.