SWEET

Celebrity Equinox Cruise Review to Caribbean - Western

AustinKearney

Contributor Level: Second Mate

Cruises: 7+ cruises

Reviews: 8

Helpful Votes: 291

Overall rating:

5 out of 5

7 Night Western Caribbean (Miami Roundtrip)

Sail date: June 30, 2018

Ship: Celebrity Equinox

Cabin type: Balcony

Cabin number: 8260

Traveled as: Couple

Reviewed: 6 years ago

Review summary

Celebrity Equinox June 30 – July 7, 2018 Miami, Key West, Grand Cayman, Cozumel, Costa Maya Cabin 8260 Introduction This was our 24th cruise and 4th time sailing Celebrity and second time on the Equinox. It’s a great ship in all respects. Murano Restaurant We had booked a dinner for Saturday prior to our sailing. The charge for the Murano specialty restaurant was reduced to $35 per person from the customary $50. I have to say it was one of the finest meals of my life, let alone on a cruise ship. I asked our waiter if he recommended any particular dish and he replied that he’s been working there six years and the menu has never changed. Diners love everything. You can view the menu on the Celebrity Equinox’s web site. Toppers (Sunday night show by the ship’s singers and dancers.) Welcome to Bizarro World. This is my first review, ever of a musical production anywhere. It’s a production that commands comment. Center stage is an enormous top hat with a clock face facing the audience. The show’s star wears a neck-to-ankles Gestapo-style leather coat topped with a Willy Wonka-styled purple top hat with a purple plume. Let my nightmares begin. We don’t know his name or the names of his two partners. One is a guy who looks like he escaped the show “Cats.” A fellow passenger called him “monkey boy.” The other is a woman, who I’ll call “Bo Peep” who wears a poodle-type dress and caries a parasol. I have no idea why they are in the show, it’s just strange. Here’s the show’s theme. Nazi Wonka, who sounds like Mr. Rogers, has to imprison all the ship’s singers and dancers in his huge stage prop hat and only releases them to sing, dance and entertain him, with presumably top 40 hits. He then locks them back up in his hat so his “friends” can’t escape. This is the whole show. I leaned over to my wife, Joanne, and said the entire show is a celebration in support of slavery, with the slaves forced to wear uber-gay outfits. I observed audience members deleting songs from their smart phones after the cast sang a top 40 number. Just sayin’. Over cocktails, a few nights later, I was comparing notes about the show with a new drinking buddy. He said, “what did you think of the singing tree?” I said, “what singing tree?” He said, “you know, the girl who was totally covered up.” I said, “do you mean the “Cousin Itt” Adams Family character wearing the crumpled crepe paper flowers?” He pointed at me, smacked his thigh and said, “YES, Cousin Itt.” Trust me, Cousin Itt was not the weirdest element of the show. I’m sure the troup were talented in every respect, but they need material that was not retrieved from some theater workshop trash bin. Fourth of July The main atrium was decorated in red, white and blue balloons and other patriotic touches. In the evening, six of the ships pastry chefs assembled a six by eight foot American flag made from thousands of red, white and blue iced cupcakes. An icer added the white frosting to the field of blue cupcakes for stars. No fireworks but still very cool. See the photos with the review. Camo Guy Getting Picture Taken So, we’re in the Martini Bar (ahem) on photo night, and this couple, across the atrium, is posing in front of a backdrop. His shirt is identical in pattern to the backdrop and he looks like a head with detached arms. Check out the photos included. I just love it. Costa Maya This was our first time in the port. We parked with the MSC Armonia and the Norwegian Getaway. It looked like about a four mile hike along the pier (in reality just a half mile) from the ship to the shops ashore. My knees took one look at the hike ashore and said NOPE. Lots of tours were available to see the Mayan ruins. Fellow cruisers rode a bus through the Mexican jungles for three hours, had two hours to view the ruins and three hours back to port. They used every bit of a $7 can of bug repellant and were still eaten alive by mosquitos. I’m just sayin’, hello Martini Bar. World Cup Soccer Our cruise director, Maarten Bruels, who is Belgian, took every opportunity to let everyone know who the Belgian team beat. The former Cellars Bar on deck four is now the Gastrobar and a de facto sports bar where the World Cup ruled the week on the TV screens. When Mexico played Brazil, I think they needed armed guards to keep an eye on proceedings. Pretty intense, all week long. The Non-Ship Based Entertainment Heard over dinner Tuesday night: Me: So do you want to go see the ship’s singers and dancers in “Elysium” tonight? Joanne: I don’t think you would like it. Me: It can’t be any worse than “Toppers.” (We didn’t go.) Dan Wilson . . . very good comedian. Tatiana Marie . . . a wonderful singer who does great impersonations. Rondell Sheridan . . . another very funny comedian. Uptown . . . THE BEST. Motown to Uptown Funk. Don’t miss them! Summary We just love Celebrity. See you there.