A bridge collapses meaning you circle inside a cruise port for 6 days. A storm makes you walk on wet carpet in the passageways for 6 days. A whale tail catches fire and leaves you with no working fire extinguishers for six days afloat. Do you still cruise ?? What do you do for fun during these scheduled cruising six days (and nights) ??
Serious replies are immediately washed overboard.
Well, one thing I would certainly do is avoid all of you people, and those of your ilk. Except perhaps Aunt Pinkie, with whom I would probably strike up a nice conversation in the laundry room, while I ironed my tee shirts.
My DH would be there ironing also, so we need one of the rooms with two ironing board. We'd be having our own party. See you there! I've met some really interesting people in the laundry rooms aboard ship over the years.
Well, one thing I would certainly do is avoid all of you people, and those of your ilk. Except perhaps Aunt Pinkie, with whom I would probably strike up a nice conversation in the laundry room, while I ironed my tee shirts.
Nope...you would need me for a referral to a vicious divorce lawyer...I do know several...I could just imagine you trying to "explain it all down at City Hall"....,,,,"Y'see judge, there i wuz, minding me own bidness, ironing me tees...and then....."...Judge looks over his glasses, brow furrows, gits all squinty eyed at YOU.......yer toast.....
Well, one thing I would certainly do is avoid all of you people, and those of your ilk. Except perhaps Aunt Pinkie, with whom I would probably strike up a nice conversation in the laundry room, while I ironed my tee shirts.
I have decided I will practice my boomerang skills. Throw one off the port side as we circle the port on the East side, and catch it on the port side once we pass by the West side of the port. I figure it will take between two to four attempts prior to a success. I will add five boomerangs to my normal packing list - just in case.
If I get into this situation, I will first watch Crocodile Dundee on loop for three viewings in my cabin. If I watch at Crooner's Bar, it might take five or eight viewings I should then be skilled enough to master my grand feat.
Do laundry in the self service laundry room.
Go to guest services and demand that they personally fix the problem RIGHT NOW! Write a one-star review and vow to never go on that cruise line again, blaming the cruise line for the weather, lightning, and the bridge collapse.
1. Sittting on a barstool means your feet won't get wet...if they do, you've got more serious problems than boredom...(helpful hint:...see a urologist)
2. Demand to watch the Captains TV...to see all the channels YOU don't get.
3. Stand in line at Guest Services to ask the same damn dumb questions and complain about the same things everybody else does...and get the same damn dumb non-helpful answers...after you find a translator that is...
4. Start composing your certified letter to the Pres/CEO/VP of Something or other cruise line.. demanding a full refund, and a $1000 OBC for your trouble.
5. Make an appointment with your therapist to try to get over spending a week in a steel box (glorified or not) with your Significant Other...who by now isn't so significant...
6. If you happen to be ashore, go visit every car dealer in the area, and buy something....bettern art museums...that'll teach 'em.....how'm I doin so far??
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