Would've Rather Been At Work All Week

Norwegian Escape Cruise Review

MamaDAtSea

Contributor Level: Purser

Cruises: 1 cruise (first)

Review: 1

Helpful Votes: 9

Overall rating:

2 out of 5

7 Night Western Caribbean (Port Canaveral Roundtrip)

Sail date: December 16, 2023

Ship: Norwegian Escape

Cabin type: Oceanview

Cabin number: 10704

Traveled as: Couple

Reviewed: 9 months ago

Review summary

We took our first ever cruise the week of 12/16-12/23/2023 on the Norwegian Escape. This was a terrible first cruising experience. So much so that by the end of the week, my husband had a timer on his phone counting down the minutes til we could leave! We should've not spent eight days and over $5,000 to come home more stressed and miserable than we were before we left. I venture to say that I would've rather been at work all week than on that ship! We all know weather cannot be controlled, but many things can be done either right or wrong. Here are some of both: The "Rights": Choir of Man (amazing), Wheel of Fortune (fun), Howl at the Moon (more fun), our cruise director, Jack (energetic & fun). That's about it. Not much else brought us joy that week. The "Wrongs": Communication - from captain/crew, especially pertaining to weather, excursions, etc. It would've been nice to know well ahead of time to expect 75mph winds the first night, or that the forecast for Grand Cayman was windy and rainy, NOT addressing the issue after the fact or shortly beforehand. Cabin - our door was so difficult to open, we sometimes felt "trapped" in our room; It took two days and multiple requests to get hypoallergenic pillows for my husband with severe down allergies; We never met our room steward, let alone knew their name; Worst of all, we had NO idea that our "upgraded" Ocean View cabin at the very front of the ship would lead to seven sleepless nights filled with rocking, banging, clanging, and slamming, among other things. Food - bland, cold, lack of variety. Food "freshly" put on buffet already room temperature. Ordered a filet at Cagneys and it was cold. Not just room temp, but cold. Their solution was to butterfly it and overcook it to the point I had to chew each bite for at least a minute before I could swallow it. Excursions - I could go into a lengthy diatribe on this one, but suffice it to say that each port was chaotic and disorganized. Cozumel was the worst. We went from a weather-cancelled private island all-inclusive catamaran to Passion Beach day excursion to a subpar, dumpy, NOT resort-like Playa Mia where we ended up having to pay $84 extra for food/drink at the smallest and nastiest buffet you could imagine. Our next port, Grand Cayman, was cancelled due to winds making tendering unsafe. Totally understand this decision; however, NCL could've done better than the paltry concession of $50 onboard credit to make up for our troubles. Jamaica wasn't any better. The chaotic craziness inside the excursion meeting tent made us feel like cattle being led to slaughter. While the dolphin swim was an awesome experience, it only lasted about 30 minutes, the rest of the time being spent wandering aimlessly around the park. Plus, the town of Ocho Rios was obviously so unsafe that our tour guide only let us stop at a regulated shopping area and watched us like a hawk. Nassau was a joke of an afterthought to avoid having to refund for another port cancellation (Great Stirrup Cay). It was basically a souvenir-buying tourist trap stop that lasted five hours. Crowd control - one word: Elevators. I can't count how many rides we passed up because they were packed like sardines. Definitely got my exercise, but I feel for those who couldn't do stairs. Another word: Lines. Everywhere. Just the line for crepes at the buffet was enough to grind my gears. And a lot of people were just flat out rude! Groups with no consideration for those around them. I realize cruise ships hold thousands of people, and this particular sailing was completely booked, but there has to be a better way. Miscellaneous - smoke in the casino, cigar smoke outside Tobacco Road, rotten seafood smell outside Bayamo, sewage smell in back of Escape Theater. Toilets in multiple staterooms not flushing. Toilet paper that was more like sandpaper. Not to mention the constant money-grab for every little thing onboard. I understand that this is supposedly where cruise lines make their money, but when a game of Bingo costs as much as $80, it feels a little greedy. I could go on, but you get the idea. Needless to say, this experience completely put us off the notion of being cruisers. While I understand things like weather being uncontrollable, all of the other things that could've been done to make up for that were either not done at all, or done at the bare minimum. Even if we were to chance another cruise, it would NOT be with Norwegian!