The good, the bad, the ugly

We are avid cruisers, having taken at least a dozen cruises on 4 major lines. We were repeat customers on Holland until infant twins entered the picture and we switched to Royal Carribean on this trip specifically because I believed it would cater to families.To begin with the ship has a little bit of wear (very small and really not worth fussing about at all), but is still a fabulous ship. It was decorated for Christmas and my only regret about the ship itself is that it is not home ported in New Orleans so we could easily go on another trip on her. Our waiter Agnelo and our room steward John (3rd floor) were fabulous- service was generally top notch with one exception mentioned below. The ship has lots of activities and still holds her own in the age of mega ships (the exception being that ballroom dancing was a no go this trip unless you counted an hour total each day, 30 min 2X, of Latin music adequate). We chose this ship primarily for what we viewed as family friendly atmosphere and the ship left us scratching our head in this area. A small splash pad for infants was much appreciated, the nursery was adequate (although being charged $6 to $8 an hour for a passenger that was already charged full fare is a question mark), and I found 2 of the best changing stations at sea (complete with gloves, wet wipes, and a diaper pail). They also allowed us to sit in the lounge after reporting to our life boat session to hear the rest of the presentation in comfort (we had an 8 yo, a 3 yo, and two 16 month old twins). The front desk and John helped us get a second pack and play when they ran out in our area. On the flip side, a lot about the ship was not family friendly. The majority of restrooms did not have changing centers and I or my husband were left kneeling on a bathroom floor multiple times. There were no family restrooms for fathers to assist with daughters who may still need help. The ship also allowed smoking on the pool deck and promenade (places where you take kids) and it seemed the ship was dominated by smoking--- the breeze carried the smoke into the child's pool area and down the entire length of the promenade. To get to the other side of the ship on deck four avoiding the promenade your only other option was to take the kids through the casino (where you guessed it more smoking dominated the area). My view on smoking is that it should be done in such a way that you can actively avoid it if needed. The worst disappointment was in the kids club. It was ok,l but my daughter did not want to go (on Holland America's Eurodam it was more structured with more craft activities and parades/ hunts and she couldn't wait to go back). My son was three and a big incentive for him to become potty trained was this trip (he understood he could not go to the kid's club or the big kid's pool if he was not). He had not had any accidents during the day for weeks and we thought we were good to go. Like many adults, the strange water and food had effects. Midway through the cruise he developed issues and had an accident at kid's club. We fully understand the rules, but when we were paged (literally on the other side of the wall as we were picking up my daughter to go to the show) the worker ranted to my husband for 10-15 minutes about rules. Meanwhile I was still waiting for my daughter because she is in line for the bathroom. My husband was unaware they had sent him to the restroom alone. When he asked where he was they finally mentioned he was in the bathroom. My husband asked if he was being helped (because why else would you not let a father check on a child?), he was told it was against policy.When my husband asked to help, they waited for the entire line of kids to finish before allowing him back (DD finally comes back 15 minutes later when my husband ordered her out of the line so he could get to my son quicker). The little guy was in the room bawling his eyes out trying to figure out how to clean up the mess and making it worse. He kept crying about being kicked out and was very upset at soiling himself. Kids (and adults) have accidents. It is going to happen. The expectations are unrealistic for kids 2-4 and the nursery is really only designed for up to age two.  If you are going to be unrealistic and not prepare for an opps, the very least you can do is have compassion on the little kids and let parents in ASAP to help. When we questioned leaving a three year old in a bathroom for 15 minutes by himself crying the supervisor of the kid's club stated that the man said they immediately cleared the line to let him back... I know it is a lie from the extended wait for my daughter who told me that the reason she wasn't back was she was waiting in line and Daddy sent her back. Lecture AFTER the child is taken care of, minimum. This is in general a great ship with good service (and limited chair hogging by the pool... a first in 15 or so years of cruising 4 major lines). This is not as family friendly as you would expect (especially for kids 2-4 years). After spending roughly the same as a suite for our family, we felt a bit cheated when forced to kneel down in restrooms and our son was left alone for an extended period. To improve- add changing tables to handicap stalls in all restrooms, create ships with family restrooms on newer ships, take a hard look at smoking policies, consider charging $3 to $4 an hour per child for the nursery (what are we getting for paying full fare?), consider adding a cool playground on the ship- doesn't have to be large, but someplace you can play with your child outside on deck or in an area other than the kid's program area, and please look at land based daycare programs to design a program and rules that are appropriate for a 2-4 year old. In this day of mega ships, it is hard to believe that toddlers do not fit somewhere in the kid's program (put a special toddler nursery in with appropriate toys and mini toilets/ changing tables). Toddler's are not older babies or mini kids, they are a unique developmental phase that needs more independence than the nursery and more guidance than older groups. Instead of allowing our family to continue cruising, we are now turned off by RCI and will wait until all of our kids are old enough for HAL's program to cruise again. My husband left the ship more stressed than we arrived, and I would say that was probably the same for me.