Castiel

Sailed April 1-8 on the Magic. 99.9% of negative claims made about this ship and other Carnival ships are ungrounded. There is no "sewage smell" anywhere, the casino was not thick with smoke, and the food was not inedible. There were a lot of young children on this sailing but that's due to spring break and not something the cruise line has any control over. Shows and comedians were great, and the chocolate melting cake is as good as ever. We stayed in cabin 2411 and never had any galley noise, or noise at all. Debarkation was super easy and quick, as they line your luggage up in zones inside the terminal. Would highly recommend Carnival to anyone. 

I knew my vacation on the Carnival Conquest was going to be great the moment I boarded the ship in Ft. Lauderdale on May 14, 2016. I'm going on an Eastern Caribbean vacation (with ports of call in beautiful Grand Turk, San Juan, St. Kitts and St. Maarten) with my family. I don't have to cook meals, make my bed, or do much of anything, right? Absolutely.

My review is pretty long but I think it will give you a good idea of what to expect on your cruise.

I am an avid reader of Cruise Critic (both forums and reviews) and some of the things I have read about the Conquest (and Carnival in general) make me question if someone has ever set foot on one of their ships, or just want to get their five minutes of fame. Yes, some of the things are true but they are trivial at best and simply blown out of proportion.

This was our 5th cruise, 4th with Carnival, and our first cruise with the 'gold' card status. We have sailed the Conquest prior to this in May 2014, as well as the Liberty in 2013, and the Breeze in 2015.

Pre-cruise: We flew in the night before and stayed at the La Quinta Inn & Suites Ft. Lauderdale Airport in Hollywood which is roughly a 10 minute ride from the airport. They offer a free shuttle from the airport to the hotel. The room was clean and suited the purpose for an overnight stay, and they provide a continental breakfast in the mornings. We ate lunch at the Hollywood Ale House (very good and quick service, but big portions) and dinner at TGI Fridays, which are both within walking distance of the hotel. (Roughly 1/4 mile walk)

They offer a shuttle to the cruise terminal (as well as other area attractions) for a small fee. I believe it was $8 a person, with several AM departure times roughly every half an hour. We chose the 10:30 and arrived for embarkation at 11, having been told to arrive at Port Everglades between 11:30 and 12.

Embarkation: This was our first time in Port Everglades, having sailed out Miami on previous cruises. This terminal (#19) is much smaller than Miami but security and passport check was very quick. Our boarding was delayed roughly 1.5 hours (we boarded Zone 3 close to (1 PM) due to the previous sailing arriving late. There was also a wedding taking place on board this day.

The waiting area is much smaller than Miami's and because of this, they did have to shut the check-in line down until boarding began. We were fortunate to make it through before they shut the line down but many people were not so lucky. (Including our table-mates for dinner)

Room: We stayed on the main deck in a outside stateroom, #2323. Our window was somewhat "dirty", yes, because of the fact that the sea salt often hits the windows while you are out on the ocean and there is not a lot you can do about that. However, someone was down below spraying off the water during the latter part of the cruise.

The room is a very good size and perfect for three. There is ample storage, a stocked mini-fridge, hair-dryer and a small flat-screen TV. The water was always hot in the shower and the toilet worked fine.

Our room was clean and ready to go when we arrived and our steward, Josie, was extremely nice and did a fantastic job of taking care of our room. We met her the first afternoon. She was very friendly and always greeted us by name when she saw us. Luggage arrived around 5 PM.

Food and Lido: I thought the food was very good, overall, both in the buffet and the MDR. Yes, the breakfast choices are scrambled eggs (and omelettes at the omelette station and deli), potatoes (hash browns some mornings), sausage, pancakes, French toast, oatmeal, grits, eggs Benedict, toast, pastries, fresh fruit and a few other options but that is typical breakfast food so I'm not sure what the complaint is about it being the same every day. They also offer breakfast burritos at Blue Iguana Cantina but I have not tried them, nor have I tried the Sea Day Brunch.

Yes, there are several 'cracked' (not broken) tiles on the floor in the Lido Deck but they are not a trip hazard by any means. The ship is 14 years old and scheduled for dry dock next year. Tables were generally cleaned within a few minutes of someone getting up, if not instantly. I also noticed that the Lido area was sort of warm and humid this time around but I attributed that to the doors constantly being opened from the pool deck, plus the grills being used for food preparation. It was never unbearable and I'm not sure if it's something they are going to fix but it is something to be aware of. Understandably, there were a few people in line especially at peak hours but it never took more than 10-15 minutes to get food and a table. (This included omelettes. Burgers and tacos were a less than 5 minute wait)

Guy's Burgers/fries, Blue Iguana tacos and the deli sandwiches are all very good options if you don't like something at the main buffet. (They would usually have one 'comfort food' section and the other half of the buffet would have another type of food, plus a smaller set-up for desserts and fresh fruit) I didn't care for many of the buffet desserts (too sweet/rich) but they had a good variety of things from macaroons, to cookies to cakes and ice cream. The key lime pie was good, though. The chocolate bar on the last sea day was pretty good, especially the chocolate cake. Most of the options were limited to the small dessert buffet, compared to the Breeze which they had one whole buffet section of chocolate desserts.

MDR: We were seated in the Monet Dining Room for the early seating. Our waitstaff (head waiter Rolyn, plus our waiter, drink waiter and desert waiter) were very good but there were a few minor hiccups. (Wrong appetizers being brought on two occasions). However, they were working one extra table which often delayed our meals arriving in an orderly fashion. We would sit at 6 for dinner but 6 out of our 7 nights we were finished by 7:30. (Several of the tables around us were on dessert by 6:55 so I am not sure if it was our luck or if other tables were experiencing the same thing) That being said, it is not a huge issue but again, something to be aware of. We were able to make all of the 8:15 theatre shows with good seats.

I personally enjoyed the Tart with Braised Kale and Blackened Pork Tenderloin, vegetable spring rolls (though they are now with a soy sauce rather than the cocktail type sauce), baby spinach salad, all of the flatbreads, mahi mahi, spare ribs, beef wellington and prime rib. There are other things as well but these stood out the most. The desserts were okay but they are very sweet, especially if you do not consume very many sweet things (as we do). That being said, the chocolate melting cake is literally heaven in a little ceramic cup, with a side of vanilla ice cream.

I tried a few cocktails throughout the week. My favorites were The Punchliner, Sex on the Beach, Ultimate Margarita, Rum Punch and The Cruiser. Expensive? Well, you're on vacation so that's your call. As for taste? They were all very good. I haven't had a bad drink yet, although I am not a fan of the frozen drinks such as the Pina Colada, frozen Margaritas, etc. Haven't tried the Alchemy Bar drinks yet but it must be very good, since it was packed every single night.

ENTERTAINMENT

Comedians: Smiley Joe Wiley, Arvin Mitchell, Paul Lyons and Rondell Sheridan. They were all okay and as expected, not too vulgar this time around but if you like adult humor you'll probably like these shows. I'm not a fan of certain types of adult humor (nor am I easily offended) but I got a few laughs out of each one. We did not attend the PG shows. I'd recommend getting there at least 30-45 minutes prior to show time since the seats do fill quickly. Bar to table service was very quick considering the shows were packed every night. Baby Jane was excellent as the ship's comedy club director. We saw her more than the cruise director, Paul, and she was such a happy ray of sunshine.

The Playlist Production shows were very good, as was the music portion of the Welcome Aboard Show. This cruise we experienced Epic Rock, The Brits, Divas and Latin Nights. It was my first time seeing Epic Rock and I have to say that might be my new favorite, next to Divas. The video production for Epic Rock is epic, to say the least.

Viva Variety acts were Marcus Anthony and Marcus Monroe (not to be confused with Marcus Anthony.. as some people thought Marcus Anthony might be playing the second night as well). Marcus Anthony sang motown hits like My Girl, and interacted often with the audience. He had everyone up on their feet singing and dancing with him. Not my personal choice of music but he sang very well and seemed to get good feedback from the audience. Marcus Monroe is a comedy/juggling act. I was surprised to see that he was a 20-something (like myself) but he is very skilled at what he does. Corny-cheesey funny, I guess you could say. Funny, but in a.. weird way. You can tell he has a lot of passion for his performances though. I won't give too much away. Just go see him if you get the chance.

Other activities included bingo, karaoke, trivia, ice carving demonstration, and the hairy chest competition, mini golf, basketball, running track and waterslides amongst other things. I didn't really partake in any of these but they are standard across the fleet. Did not spend much time in the casino as I am not a gambler but it never seemed crowded or overly smokey.

Ship's condition: As for condition issues, we never smelled any 'raw sewage' smell. Ever. The only thing we smelled at any time was some sort of paint as they were painting in various places. There was the smell of the ocean water which may have been what people are complaining about? I'm not sure.. but there is absolutely no raw sewage smell anywhere on this ship.

There were some small areas of rust on the ledges on the outside window of Lido, but when you have a metal ship in salt water, there is going to be rust at some point. It is impossible to catch every single area, especially when the ship is constantly sailing. This ship, however, is not a 'dirty rust bucket' by any means. Public areas were kept clean and stewards were always vacuuming.

One thing I will note, though, not a condition issue, is about the computer lab. It used to be located on Deck 4 Mid (In Albert's) but that area has since been converted into a professional photo studio. (They have not changed the ship's maps to reflect this) The only computers on the ship are located Deck 5 mid, on the promenade, right across from the promenade cafe and the future cruises desk. There are 5-6 computers here, with a printer. Internet was pretty good for the 10 minutes we used it to print boarding passes, but we were roughly 18 hours from FL at the point so that might have been why. It costs $5 for 24 hours of use.

Disembarkation: A BREEZE! So much better than Miami. We arrived at 7 am and we were off and through customs by 10:30 or so. (Our flight out wasn't until 4:40 PM so we were to the airport in plenty of time. Roughly 10 minute ride.) In Port Everglades they line up your bags in rows by zone number so you just have to find your zone, get your bags and go, unlike Miami where you have to wait for conveyor belts. We chose Carnival's shuttle back to the airport which was well-marked and easy to find. Just had to wait til the bus was full to leave, but no big deal.

***

St. Maarten - Scenic Coastal Hike - 5 of of 5. We met one of our guides on the pier and the other at the start of the hike. I believe their names were Christopher and Barend. The hike itself is 2.5 miles total, as you hike to Geneve Bay and turn around and walk back again. The trail is not explicitly marked and there are some steep spots and inclines but overall it was not too bad (and I am not sure-footed.) More of a straight hike than a hilly hike, let's put it that way. The views made it worth it. Hot, but not overly humid. There was a strong breeze which cut it down quite a bit. Make sure you drink plenty of water!

St. Kitts - Top 10 Best of St. Kitts - 4/5: Our guide was very informative and the island itself was neat to see. We saw Brimstone Hill Fortress, Caribelle Batik, a botanical garden, and Timothy Bay, to name a few. Basically a get off the bus, drive, see something, get back on the bus kinda thing.

Puerto Rico - Forts of Old San Juan - 4/5: It was okay. I'm not big into history so I didn't really like it personally. We visited Castillo San Felipe del Morro first, which is about 1 mile from the cruise terminal via bus. The architecture was beautiful, got some good pictures. It is a historic site so you have to walk into the main part from the bus, which seemed about 1/4 mile. No food or drink is allowed to be consumed on site, except for water.

Castillo San Cristobal was the second, and within walking distance of the ship. (Not as nice as the first fort, but it was okay. The views are amazing from the top if you decide to go up.) You could see it from the top of the fort. Our guide talked for 15 minutes and then let us go out on our own, then we walked as a group down to the Plaza de Colon for a few minutes of shopping.

Grand Turk - Beach day. Went to Margaritaville and had a drink and looked in a few shops but nothing to write home about since we had been there several times before. Shops and Margaritaville are right by the pier including Diamonds International. Beach is right next to the pier as well.

Overall, I would highly recommend Carnival to anyone and would not hesitate to sail again in the future.