5 Ways to Be Shamelessly Lazy on a Cruise
To some cruisers, a successful vacation means returning home fit, tan, and rested. Then there are those who skip right over number one and go out of their way to expend as little energy as possible. If you count yourself among the proudly lazy, here are some tips to make your next cruise vacation a truly lethargic experience:
1. Choose Your Cabin Location Carefully
Modern megaships like Harmony of the Seas remind us of the opening scene in Spaceballs. - Photo by Royal Caribbean
The longest cruise ship in the world is just under 1,200 ft. long. This means a single trip from a pool on one end of the ship to your cabin on the other end can be almost a half-mile round trip. That simply won’t do.
For the Lazy: Unless you’re a light sleeper (in which case you should stay away from heavily trafficked areas), consult your ship's deck map before you book and select a cabin close to the areas you plan on spending most of your time. Oh, and make sure there’s an elevator nearby because the last thing you want to do is *gasp* climb stairs.
For the Extra Lazy: Book a balcony cabin so you don’t even have to head up to the upper decks to get some sun on sea days.
2. Lounge Strategically Onboard
Adult-only areas like the Solarium are designed for achieving maximum laziness potential. - Photo by Royal Caribbean
When you arrive on the lido deck for a slothful sea day, keep your priorities in mind when setting up your home base.
For the Lazy: Plan on getting plenty of beverages? Set up near the bar as you’ll only be able to purchase one or two drinks at a time. If there are roving bar waiters, make sure to tip generously on your first order of the day to ensure they visit frequently.
For the Extra Lazy: Adult-only areas have bars, pools, hot tubs, and cabanas all in one convenient location, so the longest trip you’ll take is a few steps from your chair to the bar. (Bonus: No screaming kids!)
3. Use Ship Mate App
Any lazy person knows the value of an app in conserving precious energy, whether it’s ordering food from a restaurant a block away or checking the weather on your phone instead of taking a few steps and opening the door.
For the Lazy: Ship Mate app comes with features like deck maps and direct messaging to make sure you don’t spend any extra energy wandering the ship looking for your friends or onboard venues. Plus, you can book shore excursions through the app so you won’t spend any time standing in line on board.
For the Extra Lazy: Use Ship Mate’s chat rooms to avoid making unnecessary trips. For example, you can ask “are there any chairs available on the lido deck?” If there aren’t, you just saved yourself a trip.
4. Plan Your Port Days Accordingly
Sometimes the best excursion is no excursion. - Photo by EpicStockMedia
Making the journey into port will require some energy on your part, but you can minimize the effort with careful planning.
For the Lazy: While you can always opt to spend a day tanning on the beach, there are plenty of excursions that will only require minimal effort. When searching Cruiseline.com or Ship Mate App for excursions, keep an eye on each excursion’s activity level, and only book those marked “Easy”.
For the Extra Lazy: Skip a port day entirely. Unless you booked a cruise with an amazing itinerary, odds there’s one skippable port on your cruise. Look up port reviews for each stop on your trip to find out which one you can miss, then take advantage of a nearly empty ship to relax wherever your lazy heart desires.
5. Take Full Advantage of Room Service
Lots of new cruisers don't realize that room service is (almost always) free. - Photo by Norwegian
There’s going to come a morning on your cruise, perhaps after a long night at the Red Frog Rum Bar, where the idea of shuffling to the buffet for some badly needed coffee and eggs is simply too much to bear.
For the Lazy: Order (complimentary) breakfast-in-bed after a particularly rough night. For best service, fill out the card in your cabin and hang it on the outside of your door before going to sleep. Not only will you get breakfast, but you won’t have to set your alarm… the room service attendant will wake you by knocking at your door!
For the Extra Lazy: Room service isn’t just for breakfast. You could conceivably eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in your cabin and never leave. And you might not even need to pick up the phone to get food. Some ships let you order room service right on your stateroom TV.