Hysterically Erroneous = Silversea Description of Clarence Town, Long Island Bahamas

If it wasn't a tad scary, this would be the most hysterically funny and wildly inaccurate description of a 'town' I have ever read.

QUOTE

Separated by the Tropic of Cancer, Clarence Town is a tale of two coastlines. Set more or less on the centre of Long Island’s east coast, the town benefits from all the classics that one would expect in the Bahamas: breathtaking cliffs, brilliant coral reefs and serene beaches a go-go. Yet Clarence Town’s biggest claim to fame is that it is home to the world’s second largest Blue Hole. Named Dean’s Blue Hole, the 202 metre deep hole is spectacularly beautiful. View less

Waterfalls of sand cascade down the sides (non-swimmers and children should be aware), and for divers and snorkellers, the underwater life is nothing short of extraordinary. Hire a moped or enjoy the pleasant 1.30 mins walk 3 mile walk from the port, to the powder white beach. Although this is one of the main tourist sites on the island, being the least populated island in the Bahamas, you’ll often find many of Long Island’s beautiful beaches all to yourself. Non swimmers will perhaps prefer then to stroll the pretty village centre. Like a tiny St. Tropez, this is a very glamourous town. Bordered by translucent seas, Caribbean colours highlights come in the form of two churches (one Catholic, one Anglican). Interestingly, both were built by the same man – Father Jerome – who converted to Catholicism at the end of his missionary career. Clarence Town is still very much off the beaten tourist path, the bay is shallow so not many larger ships can operate in its waters

UNQUOTE

Right. Well. I have a house and spend most my year on Long Island (an 80mile island)

REALITY CHECK...

1) TROPIC OF CANCER/BREATHTAKING CLIFFS/BRILLIANT CORALS
Tropic of Cancer does NOT run through Clarence Town, it runs through Whymms/Wemyss of Long Island (approx 30 miles north of Clarence Town)... they have a sign there - they care about this point. There are no breathtaking cliffs in Clarence Town. This is not Dover. The only real cliffs lie at the very northern point of the island. Coral Reefs? No. This is not the place for brilliant coral reefs. There are reefs (none would be deemed 'brilliant' but Clarence Town is not renowned for their brilliance.

2) TALE OF TWO COASTS
Clarence Town does not lie midway along the east coast... it is below middle of the Eastern coast of Long Island- and I haven't a clue what they are talking about as a city of 2 coastlines... it is only on one?

3) DEAN'S BLUE HOLE
NOT the second largest - SECOND DEEPEST and Dean's Blue Hole is not a 3 mile walk it is 8.1 km (FIVE miles) from Clarence Town....best of luck hiking that - after the potholed sealed road and 2 steep hills you have a long dirt road at the end....

4) NOT GLAMOROUS
Clarence Town is is NOT a glamorous town (HYSTERICAL) - it is the capital city of Long Island and is in reality a small port settlement (at best). Settlement. Many hard hurricane hit wooden homes missing roofs, collapsed, dirt roads etc. Sparse housing - overgrown - there is a tiny aquaduct built by slaves that is fascinating and the two churches of course on the top of the hill.

5) NO SHOPS -
There are no shops that anyone would recognise - by any standards.
No grocery store, no pharmacy, no boutique, no doctor....the small clinic blew over in Joaquin. There is Flying Fish Marina that is a standard marina with a small "do all" shop for boaters and a small restaurant that does do great fish tacos but outside of that? There is a tiny gas station and a little bakery - none of these are easy walking to each other. Winter Haven (think tiny motel type lodging) has another small bar and grill on the water.... but both Flying Fish and Winter Haven take a good hour to get through a meal with only 2 other guests.

6) NO MOPEDS -
We don't even have mopeds on the island... but that is an easy fix - the roads you would be riding on might be more of an issue - especially the steep dirt road to Dean's Blue Hole!

7) NO EASY WALK TO WHITE POWDER BEACH -
You will see them but it is a hike...You could hike along the coast using rugged shoes and find something... take lots of water from the boat as you won't be able to buy any along the way.



Bottom line - SILVERSEA - FIX YOUR MARKETING AND VISIT A PLACE BEFORE YOU WRITE ABOUT IT. If it wasn't so funny (we were all googling what we should be wearing this season in 'our' St Tropez), we would probably be a bit hurt/insulted/worried no one could even be bothered to actually come here and put an accurate description. Ultimately you are letting your pax down and you are letting an island be set up for failure by expectations waaaaay exceeding capacity to deliver. A 500 ft boat will swamp the entire harbour. Sad in some ways for this beyond stunnning island but you have to understand that the Bahamian government is desperate for real jobs and of course, cruise ships are willing to pay.... just google and you will see the reality.

This isn't to dissuade people. Long Island IS heaven on earth... it is a pristine, incredible out island where, as you can imagine, with only 3,600 odd people, is incredibly laid back, real and authentic, wonderfully friendly people and utterly fabulous but as far from 6 star cruising as you can imagine.

If you DO visit Clarence Town you will arrive at one of the most scenic small harbours you have seen - around the perimeter are white beaches flanked by deep blues along with turquoise waters. You will probably discover great local produce and I am sure they will roll out a Farmer's Market for you with trinkets available that will give very little back to the community - and you will be bussed (we don't have anything but a school bus but that is easily solved)...to Dean's Blue Hole which is also beautiful. The problem is that our most scenic spots are beaches you will never get to see ....but for some, you will see why WE fell in love and you will be back. If Long Island wants you to find it, you will feel it like a magnet and end up moving here.....and caring so much you write about it to everyone :)


If you are lucky enough to come you will also understand why those of us who spent our lives to get here feel insulted that St Tropez would even be uttered in the same sentence... it far, far surpasses the beauty that humans have created in St Tropez.

We would be delighted for a few better dining options in Clarence town, even a single clothes store of some description - a real grocery store... wow... that would be incredible!

Maybe a better way to sum up the human level of glamor on Clarence Town would be to say that Barefoot is deemed a premium wine at USD18 per bottle.


Oh we have all had a laugh... now could someone let someone who knows and loves this island to give it a proper description?

Tags: Bahamas Silversea Cruises Silversea LongIslandBahamas ClarenceTownBahamas SilverseaDescriptionTerrible

1 Answer

LOL

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