A cruise is a wonderful place to meet diverse groups of fun-loving, adventurous people looking to make new friends and explore new destinations. Sadly, every ship also comes with a few irritating personalities. Here are the ones we seem to see on every cruise:
1. The Shutterbugs (See Also: Young and In Love)
Photo by michaeljung
Identifying Characteristics: Individual or couple taking photos every 5 minutes. Selfie-obsessed to the point of owning a selfie stick, and not being afraid to use it.
Most Irritating Trait: Instagramming every meal. Yes, even at the buffet.
Common Saying: “Can you take a picture of me sipping my margarita?”
How to Deal With Them: Selfie bombs. (This could backfire horribly if they find it funny.)
2. 'Merica! Man
Photo by Lou Oates
Identifying Characteristics: This blue-blooded, blue-collar dude literally wears his patriotism on his sleeve with American flag shirts, vests, and so on. Often sports a bald eagle tattoo, a Budweiser ball cap, and at least one bandana.
Most Irritating Trait: Taking their patriotism way too far, they will try to start a discussion about politics with anyone within earshot by making intentionally provacative statements as loudly as possible.
Common Saying: “It’s a shame that kids these days aren’t taught the actual facts in history class.”
How to Deal With Them: Try not to engage. Even a conventionally safe conversation topic like the weather could turn into a discussion on climate change before you even realize what happened.
3. Vacation Parents
Photo by JP Wallet
Identifying Characteristics: Forgetting they have kids once they step onto the ship. Often found at the bar or the pool with Long Island Ice Teas in hand, soaking up every ounce of relaxation as though they left the kids back home with grandma.
Most Irritating Trait: Making no effort to enjoy the vacation with their kids or monitor their behavior. Even when they grab ALL of the food off the buffet with their sticky, dried-on-juice-covered hands.
Common Saying: “Don’t tell me how to parent MY kids!”
How to Deal With Them: Shoot them daggers with your eyes so they know exactly what you think of them. Don’t worry… they won’t notice.
4. Chair Hog
Photo by volkansengor
Identifying Characteristics: Up at 5 am to put their towel on a lounge chair at the pool. They never come back to claim it, so one one has actually seen what they look like.
Most Irritating Trait: You've never hated an inanimate object more than that towel sitting all day on prime pool-side real estate.
Common Saying: Nothing. Because you won’t ever see them reappear to claim back their spot.
How to Deal With Them: If you see a lounge chair that’s been unused for more than 30 minutes or so, it’s perfectly acceptable to give their things to a crew member so you or someone else can use it.
5. The Penny Pincher
Photo by Medioimages/Photodisc
Identifying Characteristics: Cheapskate that will go to great lengths to avoid paying any upcharge or extra fee.
Most Irritating Trait: Standing in the guest services line at the end of the cruise removing gratuities from the bill for some asinine reason.
Common Saying: “Thanks, I’m good” to every bar waiter that passes within five feet.
How to Deal With Them: Buy them a drink, and make a toast to “living the good life”.
6. The Party Crew
Photo by oneinchpunch
Identifying Characteristics: 20-somethings most often spotted on long weekend cruises. There to drink, party, and participate in all kinds of debauchery.
Most Irritating Trait: Slamming cabin doors late at night. Turning the lido deck into their own South Beach party spot. General lack of common courtesy. We could go on...
Common Saying: “Woooooooo!”
How to Deal With Them: Situate yourself as far away as possible if you want any chance of peace and relaxation, and hope that you don’t end up in a cabin next door to them. If you do, see if you can switch cabins immediately. Upgrade if you have to. Trust us on this one.
7. Young and in Love (See Also: The Shutterbugs)
Photo by michaeljung
Identifying Characteristics: That young couple hanging on each others' every word, lots of smooching and hand-holding.
Most Irritating Trait: Selfies. So many selfies.
Common Saying: “I love you more!” “No, I love you more!’ “No, I love you most!”
How to Deal With Them: Keep your distance and be sure not to get in their way. We all know they won’t stop holding hands just to let you pass by.
8. The Loyalty Lizard
Photo by Ostop Davydiak
Identifying Characteristics: These cruisers sail on the same cruise line every time, and wear their upper-level cruise card like a badge of honor on a lanyard around their neck.
Most Irritating Trait: Every person sitting near them is going to hear about their last 15 cruises, where they went, and most importantly, the great deal they got.
Common Saying: “We’ve actually done this cruise four times now. Yeah, we wanted to book a Panama Canal this time but the ship was full, so we ended up here. Again. *sigh*”
How to Deal With Them: Nod politely and tell them you have a fitness class starting in ten minutes. They want to go too? Oh sorry, reservations filled up on the first day.
9. Nothing to Do’s
Photo by Syda Productions
Identifying Characteristics: Not quite adults, but not kids anymore either. These 18 to 20 year olds are too old for the kid's programs, but too young to drink or gamble.
Most Irritating Trait: They won’t bother you too much, but you may find them watching pre-loaded Netflix shows on their phone, which is midly irriating in its own way.
Common Saying: “Isn’t 18 the legal drinking age in the Caribbean?”
How to Deal With Them: They don't usually require much intervention as they're too focused on maintaining their carefully cultivated air of apathy to make trouble.
10. Leisure Suit Larry
Photo by Ronald Summer
Identifying Characteristics: Single guy in his 40s or 50s, easily spotted by the trademark gold chains and slicked-back hair, trying (unsuccessfully) to recapture his prime. You’ll find him at the bar or around the pool, chatting up girls and openly staring at them, making everyone around uncomfortable.
Most Irritating Trait: Always looking for a girl to buy a drink for or dance with.
Common Saying: “Let me buy you a drink, beautiful.”
How to Deal With Them: If your gut is giving you a creepy vibe, stay away. Same advice goes for men too, as there are some sleazy statements you can't unhear.
Photo by Kar Tr
Identifying Characteristics: Tries to be your best friend and follows you around, no matter how much you want some time to yourself.
Most Irritating Trait: Their inability to pick up on obvious social cues.
Common Saying: “What’s your email address? I’ll send you some photos of my hometown when I get back.”
How to Deal With Them: Polite hints rarely work. Tell them directly it’s time you spent time with your traveling companions, and don't give them a chance to latch on to your entire group.